Enjoyed reading Diarmaid McCulloch’s piece on the Council of Trent in the latest LRB – One Enormous Room (DMc uses a quote from Kenneth Clark at the beginning ‘I wonder if a single thought that has helped forward the human spirit has ever been conceived or written down in an enormous room’)
But it really, really needed to be titled ‘One Big Room, Full of Bad Bishops’
And we sound like Luther Luther Peter Peter Bishop of La Cava
Them basic bishops give a shit, but I don’t even bother.
I got Tridentine plenum
I got that ius divinum
Open Papal representative
Trust me in your diocese
Yeah you can kiss the ring, but you can never touch the crown
I smoke a million Reformation butts and I ain’t never coming down
Bish, you ain’t et Orbi
I see you work in Urbi
Council II, Supersize
Hurry up, need Luuumen.
Ex cathedra magical
Santa Maria Major, Concilium episcopal.
Call me if you need a fix,
Call me if you will recuse,
See them Presbyterians
They don’t ever leave the group.
We’re in the Adige, cruising,
We’ve got the stolen plate
Serving Pope Paul 3 over there in the City State
Trent’s colder than a fridge or a freezer
We’re snatching all your bishops at our LEISURE.
One big room, full of bad bishops.
Luther Luther Peter Peter Bishop of La Cava
We’re looking at Madonna but we’re glossing the Church Fathers,
Paul – you know I keep that work in my trunk,
Got the Law on sole faith, if you wanna press your luck.
We’re yelling “free matrimony”,
Till we get Tametsi,
Young, rich and flashy
I’ll be with Medici
You can’t find that? I think you need a Danti map
My Florentine Pitti pals, did push Savanarola back.
Encycle that, my groupies follow the Curia,
I’m writing up a Vulgate and calling I Loyola
While you’re looking bitter, I’ll be looking better
The type of bishop that you wish was present at Nicæa.
Nuncio, director, plus I’m my own boss,
So plush, mitre fierce with the gold gloss
Which means nobody getting over me
I got the swag and it’s pumping out my monasteries.
One big room, full of bad bishops etc.
Ohhh, all you basic-ass monks out there?
Man I got a room full of bad bishops.
They don’t need Zwingli, they don’t need Luther. Calvin.